Life by Design: Stop and Smell the Flowers

Did your brain just jump in and say “that shoulda been ‘stop and smell the roses’ instead of ‘stop and smell the flowers’ “?

Well, this post is all about letting go of those shouldas, wouldas and couldas...

Plus, it just didn’t feel right to use “roses” in the title when sharing photos I took at the Canadian Tulip Festival in Ottawa last week.

I was there to reconnect with family and to force myself away from the computer. I needed to get out of overdrive.

Focus is good. Driving oneself to burnout, however, isn’t.

The road signs were clear. I was heading that way. It was time for a change of course before it was too late.

I’m sharing my story here in the hopes that it inspires you to take care of yourself as you create your Life by Design. There’s no use killing ourselves in the process.

The Mind and Body in Overdrive

When I bought my plane ticket to Ottawa, I knew it was a good thing.

The thought of slowing down before my e-commerce website was up and running, though, also had me in a bit of a panic. Earning a sustainable income as a full-time artist depends on it. But the thought of being forced to slow down for reasons out of my control appealed even less. I wasn’t interested in making myself sick.

I had been pushing myself too hard for too long.

As a full-time student in Marie Forleo’s B-School, I was learning and implementing so much. It’s an intensive, exciting, and soulful business program! Although one of Marie’s slogans is “there’s no behind in B-School”, I created all sorts of self-imposed pressures and deadlines. I made that worse with fears of failure and over-exaggerated concerns about the consequences.

I’m happy with the website I’m still building. My e-shop is also coming along, but it’s not quite ready yet.

Working through my technophobic tendencies had me stretching my comfort zones daily. I’ve had to push through fear, panic, overwhelm, perfectionism and impatience to get where I’m at.

I’ve been learning as much about my beloved shadow side as I have about my gifts, technology and business. These are worthwhile exercises, but they can take their toll.

My months of 12-16 hour days in front of the computer had not only put my brain into overdrive, but my body also. If you haven’t heard, they’re linked…

I’d wake up with subtle energy and sometimes physical tremors from the constant anxiety. My dreams were filled with to-do lists and related fears.

Yup! I was stressed!

My body was talking to me. I didn’t want to wait until it was screaming to listen.

It was time to stop and smell the flowers.

I grabbed Dr. Gabor Maté’s book “When the Body Says No – The Costs of Hidden Stress” off the shelf and headed to Ottawa. The book was given to me last summer, but I hadn’t made time to read it.

“What has happened is that we have lost touch with the gut feelings designed to be our warning system. The body mounts a stress response, but the mind is unaware of the threat. … (T)he salient stressors in the lives of most human beings today – at least in the industrialized world – are emotional. Just like laboratory animals unable to escape, people find themselves trapped in lifestyles and emotional patterns inimical to their health. The higher the level of economic development, it seems, the more anesthetized we have become to our emotional realities. We no longer sense what is happening in our bodies and cannot therefore act in self-preserving ways. The physiology of stress eats away at our bodies not because it has outlived its usefulness, but because we may no longer have the competence to recognize its signals.”

Luckily, I have trained myself through my intuitive and spiritual practices to be aware of what is happening in my body. I also knew of the emotional connection to dis-ease. It still took time, however, to take action on those signals. That’s so common in our go-go-go society.

Stop and Smell the Flowers

With Ottawa in full bloom, it was hard to ignore the call to stop and smell the flowers.

When I left Newfoundland, the trees were barely budding. Nature was slowly coming out of its necessary hibernation.

By lifting myself away from my computer and changing the scene, I was surprised to see a world in full and luscious bloom.

I got my nose out of my own little story to be with loved ones, to help, to re-connect, and to re-create.

When I returned to Newfoundland 11 days later, nature had undergone the effects of divine timing – progressing at its own natural rate. Little tufts of green had started appearing on the trees.

Trees are such great teachers – they don’t stress with self-imposed expectations and judgements. They don’t hang on to stuff from the past or worries about the future. They have no shouldas, wouldas, or couldas – no comparisons with the speed of seasons in other parts of the world. There’s just perfection in being what is.

I’m back at work full-time now, but I’ll take these body, mind, and spirit lessons to heart, so that I that I may better explore and express my love of beauty and the beauty of love. After all, that’s what being an artist is all about for me.