Life by Design: Flexibility

I can’t help but laugh when someone reacts to one of my comments about following my intuition with something like: “That’s easy for you! You’re a happy-go-lucky, go-with-the-flow kind of gal!”.  I laugh because that feels so far from the truth at times.  I may be learning to be more and more so, but change still freaks me out at times.  I just feel the fear and do it anyway, especially when it feels guided. I’ve learned to trust that.

Before: Rigid Black & White Thinking

There’s a reason I chose “flexible and adaptable” for my yearly motto back in 1992. After reaching my career goal within a year of graduating from university (after working towards it since the age of 15), I found myself without a goal and in a job that eventually wasn’t fulfilling anymore.  (As an aside, that’s also when I dove into my painting big time – I needed my weekend creativity marathons for my body, mind, and soul!)  Four years after joining the National Capital Commission as cultural programmer and visual arts representative, I had to make a change.

After 2 weeks of intensive praying and listening for guidance through dream analysis, talking to people and paying attention to signs in my environment (including a message on the radio about a twin-city program looking for ESL teachers in the Czech Republic), I went out on my first big adventure on my own.  I was terrified, but thoroughly excited.

It was a good thing I adopted the “flexible and adaptable” motto for the year as nothing went as planned. The teaching program in the Czech Republic fell through while I was on the plane, and although everything worked out wonderfully in the end, it required a level of flexibility I simply wasn’t used to. It’s true though – Life / God never gives you more than you can handle.  Everything simply fell into place as it was meant to, thanks to some amazing people I am honoured to still call my friends today.

Still, I had very clear ideas of what was right or wrong at the time and how things were simply meant to run. I was a black & white thinker. My way was the right way – of course.  I may have already been on a spiritual path, but my ego / fear was so very strong that you could have called me rigid.  I was a perfectionist and such a hyper organizer with a mind geared to details that anything that didn’t meet my expectations met harsh judgement.  Trust me, that’s no fun for anyone, including the inflexible perfectionist involved.

“Perfectionism is the root of so many illnesses.”

~ Dr. Christiane Northrup

Please – have compassion for such people.  An excessive need for control (at least in my case) was just a protection mechanism against the uncertainties of life itself.  There’s little room for Love when Fear takes over. Don’t take it personally… (Having said that, I was also a really fun and loving teacher in the classroom…. I am not a stranger to contradictions, but I was trying to make a point.)

I’ve come a very long way since then (thanks to Life and my commitment to unconditional love (for myself and others).  I’ve come to accept that

“The only thing constant is change”- Heraclitus.

Still, when people hear about all the places I’ve lived and my switches of career from Tourism/Recreation/Arts Administration to Teaching ESL, to business assistant, to artist, they can’t imagine that I’m not a flexible person. As I’ve said, I’ve been learning and following Spirit for a long time. The more I do, the more I trust and the big picture – the connection between all the chapters of my life – is becoming clearer all the time.

Let Go and Let God:

I still wouldn’t describe myself as a happy-go-lucky, go-with-the-flow person when it comes to my inner-reality, but I’m learning to ALLOW and to love the mystery.  And the more I trust my intuition and follow the Guidance I receive, the more my internal and external realities match.  I’m glad to say that I’ve had enough loving, open, trusting experiences – and a willingness to be more flexible – to manifest the kind of life that then gives me the courage to believe in the power of letting go (of control) and going with the flow.

As the guide Abraham says, channeled through Esther Hicks:

“Everything that we want is downstream…  And you don’t even have to turn the boat and paddle downstream, just let go of the oars, the current will carry you.”

How does that work in business planning?

Just last week, however, I saw that the “either or” thinking is still present in my mindset.

My biggest question this month as I’ve embarked in a business-planning mode is how to find harmony between the action-oriented left-brain super planner and the intuitive right brain.  I couldn’t figure out how or why to work on a business plan when the past few years have taught me how wonderful it is to simply let Spirit guide me towards opportunities and opportunities towards me – like when I was contacted to teach intuitive painting across the province last fall – something I couldn’t have done if I had filled my schedule with too many plans.  Thankfully, I had listened to my intuition when it guided me to do things very differently than usual – i.e. not plan.

So as I start working with NLOWE (see a previous post) to work towards a business plan and am participating in all these online summits on entrepreneurship and thriving arts careers, I experienced inner conflict (or questioning, which sounds better although it doesn’t always feel better).

Teamwork: Left & Right Together

I have given public presentations on the importance of letting intuition lead and then getting the left brain to jump in there and implement the necessary steps to help things along. Just as in ballroom dancing, you need a strong leader and a strong follower. At that point, I had concluded that Spirit/the Right brain was the leader.  But the upcoming business planning exercise itself had me at a loss. I simply assumed this was a left brain only exercise and that felt like starting on the left foot (get it?). So I raised this conundrum with Gary Montalvo, the organizer of my latest leadership summit.  Here’s part of his answer:

“When it comes to setting goals, creating structures, and setting a game plan, obviously your left brain is in charge. … that’s needed for your business to have direction, consistency, and build momentum. Now when you are in front of a client, in front of a room giving a talk… Let your right brain connect, have fun, be with people and play…”

I could understand that.  What made me smile though was his next comment –

“Adjusting course is part of the game. You may have a perfectly laid out plan, and there may come a time that your right brain is saying… No we have to adjust course here. This isn’t working, or my heart and intuition is saying go this way… That’s OK, if it’s about what’s going to work best, and not about avoiding or not wanting to be responsible for something. You can let the left brain set the course, and the right brain can course correct.”

I smiled because I realized that I still have limiting beliefs here.  The whole idea of not sticking to a plan once it is set is still something I find challenging to accept. Last year’s visa situation in Europe should have released me of that belief…  I had to change my plan of spending a whole year in Vienna to spend a month studying / meditating/ playing in Bali and then a week being artist in residence in Italy – pure blessings! Gary’s comment helped me realize, however, that I still associate changing plans or wavering from a set schedule as some sort of failure or weakness.  Yikes!

The best though was when Gary passed my question to one of the speakers, Richard E. Oceguera, whose talk I had strongly resonated with. Here’s how he answered:

“In my view, there’s a fine line between the two. I personally live in both worlds. I create my plans because I believe structure sets us free. And then I constantly check in with Spirit to see what is needed, or not, as I go. It really is not complicated unless we make it so. You have a gift of being organized. Use it. Benefit from it.

Do you invite your Higher Council in to your planning meetings?  So rather than using your own logic and personal experience, how about inviting your Higher Power and Guides (Higher Council) to be a part of the planning process? That will feel a lot better than pitting the two concepts against each other.  The ego will not like this idea one bit. It wants to be in control. But you get to say how this goes!”

Wow! Now we’re talking! That’s just what I needed to hear from someone who understands my language and has obviously mastered this in his own very successful business.  It’s not either the Left or Right, but both together from the get-go – not one after the other.  I get it now.  Have both work on the plan and be flexible to adjust and go with the flow around that. This may seem so simple to some of you – but I just couldn’t see beyond the either-or obstacle I had created in my way.  Now I can.  Yay!

It is true, I still need my yoga-of-life classes to help me become more and more flexible with the years (instead of getting more and more set in my ways as some folks say they do as they age). I’m grateful that the opportunities and teachers I need always show up when I ask the questions.

Final words:

Just like in yoga, the more you practice, the more flexible you become.  Every-body is different, and so to get the most benefit from any exercise, you should choose a practice that matches your current flexibility level, as well as your personality and goals. Whatever you do to become more flexible in your life, however, the results will be a release tension in your body, a quieting of your mind, and a relaxation of spirit.

What areas of your life could use a little more flexibility? What practice will best help you achieve that?

No matter what your current condition is, may you become even more flexible in order to allow the Life by Design that you are creating through your vibrational frequency.