Let Go of Labels & Do It Your Way

What would you think if I told you my friend sometimes spends the whole day in bed watching 8-10 movies in a row?

Would you think she’s lazy? depressed? antisocial?

There’s definitely something wrong, right?

In this day & age, there’s a label for everything.

I remember a discourse analysis class in university. The professor said that if you put a video camera in anyone’s house, you could find proof that the person was mentally ill.

Just pause and think which of your behaviours might lead to such a diagnosis.

Now, you may suffer from mental illness and need help. Sometimes a diagnosis and medication may lead to a happier healthier life.  This is not what I’m talking about here.

I’m talking about the labels and judgements we put on ourselves and others when our rhythms and ways of going through life don’t follow the standards of society.

That’s right. Once in a while, I’m the one who loves to spend the whole day & night in bed watching movies. I get up to go to the washroom and get my meals, but bring my TV tray right back to bed to continue my Netflix binge.

My housesister doesn’t worry. She doesn’t judge. She may frown or remark if I express guilt or remorse at my choices. She doesn’t like to see me take the fun out of my fun. She also knows how focused, productive, and hard-working I can be.

When I stopped feeling guilty or telling myself “Ok, just 1 movie and then I’ll get this or that done”, I started enjoying these movie days a lot more. I know that I if I start with one, I’m likely going to follow through with more.

When I hit perimenopause then menopause, my body called for more rest. I was working from home and so it was easier to follow my flow. I’ll admit, I struggled at first. I judged myself.

I imposed all sorts of programs on myself: Netflix-free weeks, 21-day nature challenges, etc.  These had their advantages for sure.

Now, when I choose to have a movie day, I just allow & enjoy. Mostly.

I’ve designed a life for myself with a flexible schedule that can accommodate my painting, writing, or movie-watching marathons.

I sometimes have to make a conscious effort to get out of my happy hermit home to be social or physically active in nature. But I do.

I go skating, walking, chanting, to my improv comedy class, and weekly business training days with my best friend.

And if you follow me, you know I’m not lazy. I haven’t missed a Tuesday blog or bi-weekly newsletter since I started, filled with news of the projects I’m working on.

I also love movies!

As a child of 7, I used to bike by myself across the forest from the PMQs to the base in Germany to go to the cinema. We didn’t have a TV at home yet. It was also a time when children were a lot freer to explore the world on their own.

Sometimes, I just need to disconnect and immerse myself in stories. The only time I don’t enjoy my movie days is when I start feeling guilty. I get caught up in the shoulda woulda coulda … and that’s not healthy.

But if I truly listen to my body, mind and spirit and my flow is to be in bed the whole day, then so be it.

Last Friday, after dropping off a painting at a customer’s house at 6am, going swimming for 1.5 hours, doing my grocery shopping and laundry, I prepared the feast in the photo above and giggled my way past my housesister back to bed at 10am for a movie day. No guilt. Pure delight.

I started with the DVD “Speed” (1984). That movie had crossed my mind a few times in the previous weeks, but it wasn’t on Netflix. I spotted the DVD for sale at the library the day before while I was helping my friend set up her photography exhibit. I’m still not sure why it kept crossing my mind, but I’d manifested it and so was glad to explore the possibilities.

And since I know myself and accept myself better than ever, I knew that this first movie at 10am would lead to another and another. I was just fine with that. Depressed? Definitely not!

Instead of feeling guilty or wondering what others would think if they found out (and now you definitely have – lol), I celebrated my freedom and my choices.

We all have our rhythms. This was mine.

Now there may be labels for my behaviour. And watching movies in bed all day may not be the healthiest. It certainly wouldn’t be if I did it every day or allowed it to interfere with my life, my relationships, my work or sense of fulfillment.

Does it at times? Maybe. But then I self-correct.

We’re all learning to be ourselves in a very prescriptive world.

As long as you’re not harming yourself or others, why not explore your unique ways of going through life. Find your rhythm. Accept yourself.

If you need help, get it.  If you simply need to let go of labels and guilt for being different, do that too.

Where in your life are you not accepting yourself because of the fear of others not approving of your choices?

Which of your behaviours do you feel are sometimes healthy but at other times not?

How can being more loving towards yourself (and others) help you find greater peace about your rhythms & patterns so they are more aligned with your Highest Good?

2 people in different houses in bed all day watching movies could be having very different experiences. One may be celebrating life and the other may need help, love, or medication.

Don’t be too quick to judge or to try and change others.

In every situation, be it for yourself or others, ask “What would love do now?”.

Sometimes, it’s about accepting that others are different than ourselves. And sometimes it’s about accepting that we are.

And if any part of you is judging me right now for my behaviour… love yourself through that mirror too.

Namaste – the Spirit in me honours the Spirit in you.